Warning: Extreme Cynicism Ahead

I was in Political Rant Mode when I wrote this almost two years ago... and massively breached sentence-structure ettiquette while I was at it. Apparently I was having an "angry day". There was certainly plenty to be angry about, after all--and sadly enough, these same issues (and then some) are still pertinent today.

The reasoning behind this administration’s actions are oh-so-easy to follow, and even easier to justify!! I mean, what better way to curb the slaughtering of cellular clumps the size and functioning capacity of a fingernail clipping than to snatch back all medical funding from miserably poor third world countries, thereby rendering them unable to educate, medicate, and otherwise treat such insignificant, mild problems such as AIDS and rape-induced fistulas in women and infants and rampant unwanted pregnancies and other such hazards of sex. I’d say it’s a fair trade! After all, this reasoning comes from the same sources that have so rightly/aptly placed the blame for most of America’s (and indeed, the world’s—but we’re really the only ones that count, it seems) problems not on violence, not on under-funded education, not on poverty, not on bigotry (see definition under “G.O.P.”), but on the real perpetrator—pornography! Sex in general, really. After all, it’s wrong because Ashcroft says so. And President Bush. And God is on their side, don’t you forget (if you DO forget, we just might have to bomb you, too). But you CAN forget about the whole “weapons of mass destruction” rumor so nastily spread about under the Bush Quote banner… after all, no one really SAID “imminent threat.” Oh, except that one time on CNN… and the other time… well, enough with that. We freed the oppressed people, right?? That’s what we went there in the first place for, right? To feed them democracy as a way of life even if we had to tie them down and tube-feed them, right? And hey, it worked, right? I mean, what cries “democracy” like a militant police state and rioting and ongoing slaughter of innocent people?

The one thing that may indeed cause the Apocalypse to come crashing down upon us in the very near future—the one thing our valiant and, indeed, wise leaders are pouring their energies almost completely into in hopes of stopping such a horrible event—is the Civil-issued (within a Secular nation beneath a “Secular” government [read: “not fundamentalist like those damned backward Middle Easterner Islamic states… after all, we’re Christian, by golly—that’s different!”]) institution of Holy Matrimony becoming un-sanctified by the introduction of Gay Marriage. After all, they can’t have kids—and that’s just wrong. Overpopulation’s not an issue, after all. Those same naysayers who think differently will also feed you the line about “global warming.” Carbon monoxide, exhaust fumes, pollutants—they don’t cause ozone deterioration! The ozone is only thinning rapidly over Antarctica, after all, and we Americans don’t live there, so… so what? Plus, those SUV exhaust fumes sure do make for a pretty neon-orange sunset.